All successful leaders have failures under their belts—from minor mistakes to major disasters. Nobody knows how to do everything, and the process of learning is usually a messy one.

Particularly in the Silicon Valley, high-profile failures are even acknowledged as credibility boosters and the key ingredients of which personal brands are made. In a world where big risk equals big reward, the chances for failure are high.

So how do we as leaders begin to normalize (and even embrace) imperfection with an eye toward boosting performance and engagement? I say we look at how we are framing our failures.

Amy Edmondson’s research shows that teams that talk about failures do a better job of both learning from past mistakes, and experimenting with new ways of solving problems or conducting routine business. She recommends that leaders reward, rather than metaphorically shooting, the messengers of bad news. Don’t make employees afraid to admit mistakes or bring problems or unknowns to your attention. Instead, analyze failures together with your teams, and figure out ways to improve. (HBR: Leading an Exhausted Workforce)

Here are three ways to do it: 1. Quiet your inner critic 2. Own your weaknesses and confront them with strengths 3. Normalize and destigmatize making mistakes.

1. Quiet your inner critic:
When mistakes happen, it’s easy to fall into negative self-talk. After all, many of us are conditioned to associate excellence as a result of not just discipline, but self-flagellation. Actually, the opposite is true.

Research suggests that self-compassion, not self-criticism, makes us more competitive in the workplace.

Instead of ignoring, rationalizing or covering up our mistakes we feel ashamed of, practicing self-compassion allows us to honestly reflect on what happened and how to correct it. It also engenders resilience and enables us to pivot when needed.

Try this: Talk to yourself like you would a friend. Next time a mistake happens, self-compassion expert Dr. Kristin Neff recommends talking to yourself as you would a friend. Say, “We all make mistakes sometimes.” or “Despite one mistake, that project was a huge success. Look at the numbers.”

Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean accepting or being happy with less than your best.It’s about how you motivate yourself to do better next time – instead of using blame and self-criticism, self-compassion motivates with encouragement, kindness and support.

2. Own your weaknesses and leverage your strengths:
It might seem counterintuitive but leaders become more effective when we make our strengths AND our weaknesses visible – and empower our teams to do the same. Owning (instead of hiding) weaknesses allows leaders to do two things that drive success:

• • Bring others on to your team who have strengths in the areas where you’re weaker, allowing you to focus on what you excel at and your team members to be valued for their unique strengths.
  • Use your own strengths to shore up a weakness. For instance, if you know you are prone to making decisions that are not often data-driven but you have a strength in strategy, leaning into your strength will help you make sound decisions that drive the overall goals of the organization forward.

Try this: Think about a strength you’re naturally good at. If you applied it to one of your weaknesses, would it be useful? 

3. Normalize and destigmatize making mistakes: 
Leaders who make a regular habit of asking for input and admitting what they don’t know create a culture of psychological safety by modeling that perfection isn’t the goal – success is.

Acknowledge conflicting impulses and values, make it okay to change your mind when new information comes in, and apologize without embarrassment when you need to. Doing so encourages team members to try new things, bring ideas forward, take risks and innovate without fear.

Try this: Make it a practice to reward trial and error. Give some thought to the areas where you feel mistakes won’t lead to disaster, then open those up for experimentation.

Make Amy Edmondson’s advice your team’s new mantra: Those who catch, correct, and learn from failure before others do will succeed.